So it's been almost a month since the last time I wrote anything. Summer kinda drags as of now. My goals are no closer to being achieved than they were a month ago. However, I am trying harder and now that my friend Dan is gone I'm sure the smoking problems will be a lot easier.
Sarah finally came home! And I was so happy...but she's really different and I don't know how to deal. She was the one person that could have kept me sane this entire summer without being in West Chester and now I don't know what's going to happen.
I went to my first baseball game last Wednesday (with Nick, his parents, and kids/families in his mom's 3rd grade class). Phillies, too! We lost, but I got a nifty green Phillies hat and I spent time with my amazing boyfriend, who I most likely won't be able to see for another three weeks to a month. His stupid summer class is keeping him so busy and it makes me really wish that I had my license. However, I may be going down to WC next weekend to visit Dan's apartment. If I go, I'll be sure to spend more time than necessary at Starbucks with my boy. Also, I scheduled my license test!! So hopefully I will have my license on July 3rd. Which would be awesome because then Nick is supposed to come see me on July 4th and 5th and I can drive him around =] I'm kind of scared to drive by myself, since I've been driving with my dad for 2 1/2 years. That's so weird to think about.
My mom and I most likely aren't speaking anymore. Well, she may try, but I think that, at least for now, I would prefer to not communicate with her. She took me to my cousin Josh's birthday party on Saturday and got trashed. I won't go into detail but let's just say she said some things about her sisters and even my dad (right in front of me) that I really didn't appreciate and then she got pissed when I asked her to take me home, so I had to have my dad come get me. Seriously, I'm tired of that bullshit. Dad said that I was 18 and if I didn't want to see her anymore that was fine with him. She texted me yesterday and said, "Hi honey i'm sorry about last night we're probably not a good combination when we're both kind of down i love you," and like, I'm glad she sent that because at least she realized that something was wrong, but I don't think she realized the extent of her drunkenness or the mean things she was saying about my dad or to me. Fuck it. I forwarded the text to my dad and explained why the text didn't change my feelings, and he said that he thought it would be best to acknowledge her apology and just let it go after that. So I told her I loved her and that was it. Nick thinks I'm going to want to talk to her later, because, after all, she is my mother, but honestly, if I could have stopped speaking to her years ago, I probably would have.
When I was at Nick's house last week, I stole one of his shirts but his smell is already starting to go away a little bit and it makes me sad. I honestly wish this summer was over. I don't think I've ever hated summer so much but when it keeps me away from where I'm happy, it really sucks. My job is a piece of shit and apparently my manager hates me? and nobody else will hire me. At least I'm making some money.
I think that once June is over, things will be a lot better.
My schedule for July/August is going to be so much better:
July 3:license
July 4:fucking my life
July 5:more life fucking
July 17-July 26-beach with Katie and Amanda
unknown date after July 26-August 1:beach with Nick and family!
August 4:Nick comes, 6 month anniversary
August 5:Nick leaves
unknown August dates:California with dad and Lisa?
August 22:birthday!!!
August 29:BACK TO WEST CHESTERRRRRRRRR
obviously, it's not a lot, but compared to what I'm doing now, it sounds so much better. Come on June, I know you just started, but be over NOW!!!!
About Me
- SPAAN
- SPAAN stands for Students for the Prevention of Animal Abuse and Neglect. We are an up and coming organization at West Chester University and our goal is to do our part to stop animal abuse as wholly as possible.
2 comments:
I'm glad you posted another story! A few things went through my mind as I read through it:
Driving by yourself is easy if you have some good music in your car with you.
I may be presumptuous in saying this but I think you and your mom not talking for a while is healthy. From my experiences I have found that friends and family can be cruel and mean sometimes in how they behave or what they say. Let her come to you when she wants to talk. If she is thoughtful in what she says then it's time to start again.
a dear friend of mine was obnoxiously rude and intentionally heartless infront of my face because of a little alchohol. you can't help the negativity that seeps out of people sometimes, all you can do is hope that they will see how mean they've been and seek forgiveness. atleast if it's sincere, they are showing signs of change.
however sometimes i regret giving (insert name) the benefit of the doubt because sometimes it turns out that you weren't optimistic but naive. just keep your head up and don't let any ass-face get you down.
you will feel so much better with a license. it's like having wings. the summer is often very boring and difficult because of that but don't lose hope. you can still meet new people and experience new things. nobody is hiring anybody to be honest.
i've applied to 30 some places at my college and got 1 interview. i may have a job in 2 weeks :( . atleast you have "some" money.
anyway i hope this wasn't too long but i tried to be thoughtful and relate to it because i like this story.
Thank you so much Kyle! I always appreciate the insight you give my posts and it makes me happy to hear other opinions on what I'm dealing with. It helps a lot!!!
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